They're just shoes

I don’t understand women and shoes. That’s it. I don’t get it.

It’s not that I don’t understand them owning a large amount of them. I, for instance, own a decent amount of clothes. It’s because I haven’t really grown since middle school and have been wearing some of the same shirts until they rip or stretch. In fact, my absolute favorite shirt is a blue button down that I bought for my 9th grade homecoming dance…10 years ago! The shirt is amazing because it 1) never wrinkles and 2) is the exact color of my eyes.

But I digress. Here are some shoe stories:

- When my sister moved away from New York she used her boyfriend’s car (Outbacks are station wagons no matter what he says) but had to store stuff at both her New York siblings’ apartments. Now, she could have saved some space in packing, but she refused to consolidate her shoes, shipping dozens of pairs all in their original boxes.

- Apparently I’m living with a shoe-a-holic and didn’t even know it! Steph tells me she has dozens…dozens of pairs at home that she couldn’t bring because the entire space under her bed here is already packed with shoes.

- And my first hand witness when walking the streets of Soho with Sophia where she would peel away mid-sentence and be mesmerized by the shoes in the store windows.

And I just don’t understand it. I own 6 pairs, and I think that’s a lot. That’s sneakers, sandals, blacks, boots, tux shoes and dance shoes (and I haven’t seen my tux shoes in a few months). All of them have practical purposes. I understand having a lot of shoes because, like my clothes, the more you have the less often you’ll wear them and the less often they’ll wear down but 1) I don’t understand how you choose when you have that many and 2) I just don’t get the obsession.

Why? What is it about shoes that appeal to women? They just cover your feet. Men don’t ever notice them (straight men at least. Do gay men notice shoes?).

I don’t think there is a legit answer. I think it is the female equivalent to the conundrum of why men love lesbians (straight men at least. Do gay men love lesbians?).

I’m staying the next two nights at my Gay friends’ apartment. That’s 53rd and 7th, with a balcony. It’s amazing. I’ll ask them.