The 50th Blog!

Lincoln Center allows all sorts of performing ensembles to perform in their plaza, from college orchestras to high school bands to elementary school choirs. I always like to go listen. I feel it’s the least I can do to support the arts by becoming one more audience member during my lunch breaks. Yesterday I felt especially compelled. It was one of those public schools that’s just a number (like PS 267). And I had to stay and watch because there were no parents there whatsoever. I could tell, because the choir was composed (haha, composed) of only black children but everyone in Lincoln Center Plaza (as usual) was white or asian.

The thing is, they were terrible. Sang/yelled right out of their throats. And this, this is actually a topic I feel entitled to speak about. Unlike the time I tried to blog about the speed of the international space station and was (as usual) talking out of my ass. But back to my point, which is no children should ever use their throat to sing. Children have natural head voices you dumb fuck of a teacher! 1) You’re promoting wretched singing technique to children who are already immersed in pop singing and 2) you’re taking away the only desirable quality about children’s voices, the fact that without work they’re light and floaty. What are you teaching them and how did you ever get qualified to do so (probably an instrumentalist forced into it, he was using a baton after all).

Ok, I’m over it.

Anyway…I was out there a few weeks ago with really, the worst elementary school choir I had ever heard. I was kind of ashamed until I heard the teacher say “thanks y’all (she was from Texas) for comin’ out todai. These children are part of volunteer choir that meets wonce a week after sckewl.” And then I felt bad. Good for them.

Going out and watching these "performances" only gives me confidence that I made the right choice in not becoming a teacher. Not to say I wouldn't be good at it, but I'm pretty sure I would hate life.


A.E. - My whole neighborhood is full of newborns and golden retrievers.
Me - Just the two things you should not have in New York City.


Next week: my Met debut.