Public urination, you only miss it when you can't do it

So here’s a problem with New York. No place to discretely urinate in public.

The problem is real estate. Every square inch of Manhattan (well every square inch I frequent) is worth so much money that you don’t find back alleys and side streets. See in Baltimore if you couldn’t hold it there was always a dark passage you could duck into, unzip, and do your business. Well, by “you” I mean males, although that’s not 100% true. I once witnessed a very intoxicated girl, not so discretely, squatting just around the corner from Brewer’s Art. I think she was crying and her friend was telling her “it’s all right, it’s all right.” Sad, yet pretty hilarious at the same time.

Anyway, back to me, walking home last night I realized I had forgotten to alleviate myself of my burden before I left the theater. So what’s a man to do? Well I could find a restaurant or bar and stop in just to use the restroom, but, that just seems so womanly. And with too many people in Times Square (always) to just use the side of a building; I did the next manliest thing, hold it.

I read somewhere that the best way for men to hold back is to think sexual thoughts, since you can’t do both at the same time. So I met Shannon at the station and imagined she was Jessica Alba for the next 45 minutes till we were home. I mean…I listened to every word she said like the caring roommate I am…

Oh and:
4 points to Shannon for linking me to her blog
1 point to Tim because he whined about it
1 point to Erin cause I like to give her false hopes