Vince Vaughn

Vince Vaughn is a funny funny man. Swingers, a great movie because of Vince Vaughn. Wedding Crashers, well here’s my favorite quite:

- Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, let’s go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

My sister and I watched this last night. Well, we watched half. My sister hated it and turned it off. She wouldn’t have been mad, but her boyfriend (of quite a few years) recommended it highly to her. And that’s what made her mad, that she spent money on a rental he clearly should have known she wouldn’t like.

It’d be different if they had watched it together. I have suffered through numerous wretched movies for love’s sake (for instance, both Bridget Jones’ Diaries). And have, in return, dolled out my share of Jim Carrey and Jackie Chan movies. But they weren’t together and he should have known better. And thanks to him I didn’t get to see the end (I’d already seen it, but still).

I need to get some Vince Vaughn stand up. I think he’s top on my list of celebrities I’d like to hang out with (after Denise Richards).

You take out Lecykirabers!

I’m a recycling nut. I used to save all my cans and paper when I lived in Baltimore city so that when I went to my house (about once a month) I could take them with me to recycle out there. I guess I figure it will look good when I get to heaven.

Saint Peter – Well, you haven’t really led that righteous of a life.
Me – I did work harder than 95% of the population to recycle.
Host of Angels – It’s true…Good work, son…Let him in!!!

I’ve always wanted to know how to improve recycle (number of people and amount). I don’t have many ideas but here are my observations from the three states I’ve lived in:

Maryland (Baltimore county) – Voluntary curb-side recycling.
Pros – Convenience. Being the suburbs, recyclable can be left in cans and just brought street side the day they need to go out. There’s no reason not to.
Cons – There’s no reason to recycle. I imagine a large amount is just thrown away out of laziness. Plus, products can’t be left in trash cans. That means you have to have enough paper boxes and bags to hold all your paper you’re recycling which is discouraging for some.

Michigan - $.10 Deposit on every can/bottle which can be brought back to the store for a refund.
Pros – There’s a real reward here because there’s money at stake. Kids can be encouraged to recycle by the promise of the 10 cents they’ll receive for every can; fundraisers can be made of this; homeless people will work to get those that were missed by others.
Cons – No accountability. At least with curbside you have the shun of neighbors if you don’t recycle. Here, if you don’t care about the 10 cents, toss away. And every time you buy cans you have the negative aspect of paying extra. Plus, no paper recycling (that I knew of).

New York – Maditory curb-side recycling.
Pros – Well, you have to recycle. If you don’t you get a fine. Plus it’s curbside so it’s easy.
Cons – Negative reinforcement. You’re making people recycle not out of the reward of doing the right thing, but to avoid punishment. This doesn’t encourage you to recycle everything, just as much as you need in order to avoid getting a fine.

Which is best? I’m not sure. I want to say New York because they probably get the best results but I still don’t like the fines. At least we can all agree it’s probably not Michigan, but when has Michigan ever been the best at anything (besides unemployment).

I want to be Jewish (but only when I'm dead)

Jewish Burials are great. There are so many traditions in the Jewish Culture. Some of them are…unnecessary, but some of them are quite phenomenal. Yesterday was the first Jewish burial I’ve ever attended. For those of you who have never been, after the coffin is lowered into the grave everyone present shovels three scopes of dirt (using the back of the shovel) into the grave. It’s done in complete silence and is so touching. The sound of the dirt on the wood is almost haunting. After everyone has had a turn, you fill in the rest of the earth. It’s hard enough watching the coffin being lowered into the grave, but to bury the person yourself…there’s a real sensation of closing. This is how I would want to be buried, except I plan on being cremated.

After the funeral comes 7 days of Shiva (sitting). The family stays in and lets people come to them. They are taken care of for all those days. Food is brought, stories are told, and the only rule is that the family isn’t allowed to entertain. They are just supposed to be there and let others come to them. It’s not that other religions don’t do this for the families, but with the Jews it is laid out; there’s a plan and everyone knows about it.

I was going to write about how communal the Jewish people are when I realized it probably wasn’t fair to all the other peoples of the world. Yes, the Jewish community came out in force to support the family these past few days. And, yes, most of them are faithful people who knew the prayers and traditions by heart. But that’s no different from any other culture/religion. If it had been a Catholic funeral I might be writing this about the Catholics. If it had been an Italian funeral I know I would be writing the same about them. Chinese, Hindu, Greek, they all would have been there. I don’t want to take away from anything that happen this past week; I guess I just want to say in some bitter-sweet way that, though terrible, funerals bring the best out of everyone.

Rebecca gave a beautiful speech.

Rebecca

Can you come to the Hospital?

“Of course, what’s the matter?” Because, it could be a lot of things: a broken bone, a bad flu, a sick relative.

My sister got hit by a car.

“Is she ok?” People get hit by cars and survive. What’s her condition, serious, critical? Is she in surgery? Is it just some scrapes?

She died.

. . .

This was my wake up call yesterday morning. And not only did I have to listen to it then, but I had to listen to her retell the story dozens of times over the course of the day as she called everyone she knew and everyone she knew called her. And then I went to the hospital to view the body. I barely knew the girl and it was still one of the toughest things I’ve done.
I was supposed to spend the day brooding over the fact that I was in rehearsal and not watching the football game. Instead I spent the day brooding over the fact that if I had not turned my phone off Saturday night I could have been there 8 hours earlier.

What can you say? Nothing. There’s nothing you can say to a girl who’s just lost the most important person in her life when they were together just 5 minutes earlier and now she’ll never speak to her again.

I think that’s all I can say. I’m so sorry Rebecca.

If Tim is Issac Newton, I'm an apple.

First things first: Tim has resolved the USA Today question.

Tim: The scientific reason is that the stuff needs to travel that fast in order to stay in orbit. If it goes slower the earth’s gravity will pull it down to earth.

Ok, but what about stationary weather satellites?

Tim: They are further out or further in so they can coordinate G=Cm1m2/R. The speed must counteract this gravitational force.

Makes sense, but how about some proof?

Tim: Want the Formula? V = the square root (G * earth’s mass/r). G = universal constant of Gravitation and r = r, earth + altitude of the space craft.

Half way down: http://www.texarkanacollege.edu/physci/Nova/mmExploration.htm

I didn’t actually attempt the formula so we’ll have to take Tim’s word that it does indeed come out to 17,500 mph (after converting m/s to mph of course).

So there you have it. Good work Tim, I knew I could count on you. And semi-good work USA Today. You’re still not much of a paper though.


In football news, every football analyst talks about how good the Steelers are. When they break the game down they talk about Polamalu, Big Ben, Parker and Bettis, and how Plummer needs to not screw up, but then when they go to predict the score it’s always Broncos by 3 in a low scoring game (the spread of home field advantage). Why are they all such Pansies?! Either talk about why the Broncos are the better team or pick the damn Steelers.

It’ll be tough to start, but the Steelers pull away with a comfortable lead: 31-23

USA Today

I had some free time yesterday so I read a paper cover to cover. Well, sort of. It was a USA Today and I’m not sure that counts as a real paper, but they were out of NY Times. Anyway, here are my thoughts of a few stories.

- Al Gore got a fourth page article about a speech he made disapproving of government spying (big surprise). It made me wonder, what ever happened to Dan Quayle? I haven’t heard about him for years. Why do we hear so much more about Al Gore? Is Al Gore trying harder? Is it because Al got a run at the president that Dan never did? Or is it because Dan Quayle is an idiot and no one misses him?

- There was an article about how many space walking missions are needed to complete the space station and how dangerous they are. “They are 220 Miles above the Earth, moving at about 17,500 mph.” First, I don't know if this is true. We here on the Earth are traveling at 1,000 MPH (24,000 mile circumference in 24 hours). How are astronauts, only 200 miles away traveling 17 times as fast? Second, what does it matter?! You only feel acceleration (like riding in an elevator). It's not like they feel wind resistance up there or can tell how fast they're going based on the relativity of close objects. It looks like an impressive number USA Today, but someone should have told you it means nothing.

- Infiniti is putting out a concept car with a full length glass roof. How cool is that?! Huge windshields, just a strip of metal in the middle connecting the two windows; I just wonder what they’ll do about the sun. Also Lexus is putting out a car with an 8-speed transmission. Interesting.

Steelers win!!! And some other teams played too...

My takes on the games this weekend (Steelers get the extended version):

Pittsburgh – Indy:
- BenVP indeed! He really showed his skills throwing in the game when the running game was stalled. That, combined with the amazing tackle to save the game makes him game MVP hands down.

- Give credit to the secondary. When Pittsburgh Blitzed they were equally important in making sure no one was open for a quick out, usually man-on-man.

- Thanks officiating crew for giving Indy every possibility to win.

- Great play calling by Bill Cowher taking time off the clock on 4th downs when Indy started to look good offensively.

- Crappy play calling by Indy taking shots down the field when they should have been setting up an easier field goal.

- Polamalu is amazing. However his hair helps his prestige because you always know when he is involved in a play.

- Peyton Manning looks like a real jerk. 1) For waving off the punting unit (even though it was the better call, he shouldn’t have done it) and 2) for his post game “we had protection problems” comment. Should have been “I had some ‘throwing the ball to my receivers’ problems.” And even better, he looks beatable.

Washington – Seattle:
- Washington played poorly. And the end of both halves Brunell throwing short passes to covered receivers in the middle of the field, players not getting out of bounds, clock mismanagement. They deserved that loss

- Will Alexander be ready for next week (I think he will, they’ll need him)?

New England – Denver:
- Who would have predicted such a low score at half time?

- I loved watching Watson chase down Champ Bailey on that interception return. Granted they scored on the next play, but what an effort, what commitment.

Carolina – Chicago:
- Rex Grossman (like Brunell) made some crappy choices at the end of the game. Slot receivers on inside routes that didn’t even make a first down? That final interception, who was he throwing to? Carolina Obviously.

- Look out Seattle, Carolina looks really good and your victory over washington wasn't that impressive.

Points for all...

timonkhsu: you haven't updated your blog in a day!!!
timonkhsu: all the excitement in my life is gone!
The fedora boy: I love you Tim

From Mike C.:
Despite hating blogs, it made my day to hear that I am a contributing writer on a blog. It's kind of like when some Whoo kid gave the Grinch a present (I think that happened). I hope that I am able to contribute again in the future. Preferable on sports issues ("Mike C's Fantasy World"), since that's where I think I am at least a little clever.

That's 3 points for Tim
And 5 points for Mike (a few extra for being the first person to leave a comment on a post).

Sadly "Mike C.'s fantasy world" refers exclusively to sports.

"Write Ups"

The other day at work I was late and was told that the next time I’m late I will be getting a “write up.” Granted I have been late an abnormal amount recently, but never more than 5 minutes at a time. I think my exact reaction was “good thing I’m quite used to being written up.” Which got me thinking back to some of the “write ups” I have received over the years.

6th Grade – “Fighting” or as Ray reminds me, possibly the lamest fight ever.
8th Grade – Belching in Class
9th Grade – Lateness to school (Kerry’s fault)
10th Grade – Academic Dishonesty
11th Grade – Misuse of the company intercom (Simond’s Nursery)
Sophmore Year – The infamous snowflake incident
Sophmore Year – The infamous locked stereo (leading to 3 years of disciplinary probation).

There are many others I’m leaving off, but I think these are by far the finest.

The Steelers don't even have a mascot...

Erin F. joined my NFL playoff pool this year and she made her choices based as much on mascots as on team skills. Here's the forward of the email from Mike C. (her boyfriend) helping her choose.

"OK, here's round 2 of the Mike Janney pool (ie. which mascot is better). You have a very interesting bracket so far for reasons that would bore you to sleep, but exite me to insomnia. I'm very impressed.

NFC
Seahawks (of Seattle):
SKILLS - swooping; using large talons; by far the best team in the NFC.
WEAKNESS - It's a freakin' bird.

Bears (of Chicago):
SKILLS - mauling; scaring kids.
WEAKNESS - not much offense.

Giants (of New York):
SKILLS - stomping and smashing.
WEAKNESS - not very smart; rookie QB.

AFC
Colts (of Indy):
SKILLS - best NFL team during the regular season; galloping.
WEAKNESS - galloping is kind of gay.

Broncos (of Denver):
SKILLS - bucking; snorting steam; second best NFL team during regular season.
WEAKNESS - It probably gallops too when nobody is looking.

Patriots (of New Englad)
SKILLS - shooting & bayoneting; won last 3 of 4 super bowls.
WEAKNESS - tri-cornered hats, like short jackets, are so 5 minutes ago."


Acutally, she ended up picking the two favorites in the superbowl, even though there’s no way the colts and seahawks are the best mascots. I guess it’s the smart thing to do, but I give her no credit.

Mike, however, gets 5 points for his creative email. Good work Mike.

The Mittens/Kittens Mystery Resolved

From Lindsy: (See Lost Gloves 12/28)

Three little kittens, they lost their mittens,
And they began to cry:
"O mother dear,
We very much fear,
That we have lost our mittens."
Lost your mittens!
You naughty kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.

The three little kittens, they
found their mittens,
And they began to cry:
"O mother dear,
See here, see here!
See! We have found our mittens."
Put on your mittens
You silly kittens,
And you may have some pie.

BenVP!

My pick for NFL's MVP is hands down Tom Brady. And you know I must mean it because I hate the patriots. Brady is the only reason the Pats are in the playoffs this year (well that and the AFC East, but we can't make the dolphins, bills and jets all co-MVPs). Brady held that team together through injuries in the D and practically no running game. Every game he would have to throw (and throw well) to keep his team in it. And he did. Take Alexander out of Seattle and another running back fills his place. With their Defense they’re still not half bad. Peyton's a little tougher, but the rest of the team is also so good they would at least be in contention with another QB. And fear of Peyton is the only reason James does as well as he does. But take Brady away from the Pats this season and Miami wins the worst division in football. They would have nothing without him and that, by definition, is the Most Valuable Player.

That said, how about Ben Roethlisberger for MVP?
Pittsburgh is 11-5. Ben's out for 4 games and Pitt loses 2 of them they should have won. Pitt loses to Indy but Ben is still nursing an injury and you need your QB 100% to keep up with Peyton. So really Ben has only 2 losses, both to really good teams, Cincy and NE. I know, he won't get a single vote or even a mention, but Pittsburgh is obviously not the same team without him. And for a team that seems to rely on running and D how is it they can't win without their minimalist (yet impressive) Quarterback?
Big Ben for MVP!!!

$76 + ?

I don't pay $76 a month to not be able to ride the subway.
This morning when I swiped my monthly metro card I got the familiar "please swipe again." Upon doing so I got the message "just used." For those of you who don't live in NYC, that means you can't use your card for the next 18 minutes, so I had to spend $2 to get a one trip metro card. Now I don't think there's some grand conspiracy to dupe people of $2 every now and then. But this isn't the first time it's happened. Let's say it happens to 1% of all riders. That's $2 extra from 80,000 people or $160,000 a day; $4, 800,000 a month; $58 Million a year (do you like how I just used completely made up numbers to make my point?)
The point is that this has to happen to many a people everyday but who is actually going to take time to write the MTA when they aren't even sure they will get their $2 back. Even though this happens all the time no one will ever be able to challenge it.

In other news, my mom bought me this little umbrella for Christmas which contracts down to the size of about two cigarette packs on top of each other. Convenient? Yes. Durable? No. One strong wind gust and this thing will be done for. Nice while it lasts though.

Plan Ahe...

On New Year's Even I rode home to Baltimore with my sister who lives a 10 minute walk from me and who I see once a month at best. Actually, I slept most of the way. Anyway, the poor girl is not going to be able to attend classes this semester. She and her girlfriend were both taking classes this semester but unfortunately they can't afford next semester's tuition.
Now, this is sad. It really sucks for her because her future plans had depended upon her taking these classes and now the whole plan of moving out of NYC might be put on hold. But, come on Kerry! What were you thinking? Why did BOTH of you start taking classes without a plan of you were going to continue taking classes? You know how much classes cost and would cost to continue for another semester. I'm disappointed that you won't be taking classes, but I'm also disappointed that you didn't think this through a little more.

And I'm banking on Kerry never reading this blog; for my sake.