More Charlotte Church

Watch the entire Charlotte Church video here (including the creepy birdge section):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq-FoLeKaPI&search=charlotte%20church

Or, if you want to compare it to the Charlotte Church of old, here she is at just 11 (she's 20 in the clip above):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehrpzXSI0Tg&search=charlotte%20church

Many thanks to Lindsy, coming through when I need her (as usual).

Charlotte Church...sizzles

With Erin’s prompting I checked out the new Charlotte Church video. You all remember little Charlotte Church, the angelic pre-teen singing sensation from about 8 years back. Well, take a look at the fine piece or artistic mastery the 20 year old Charlotte Church is engaged in now-a-days.

http://www.video-c.co.uk/videovaultwatch.asp?vidref=char003
(It’s protected so I can’t post the video, you have to go to the site)

That isn’t any version of Ave Maria I know.

I think my reaction is best summed up in the ensuing conversation:

RavenEMEF: Did you watch it?
The fedora boy: Wow
RavenEMEF: What did you think?
The fedora boy: I would do so many things to her I can’t describe because I’m at work right now

Charlotte Church grew up (and out in the right places) and is looking pretty damn good. Unfortunately her music choices didn’t grow in the right places. But really, is anyone surprised. This girl has name recognition, she was cute as a girl and is smoking hot as a woman, she’s already had a life of exploitation so obviously she (and her parents when she was younger) have no shame in making the most of whatever she has to offer. And apparently what she has to offer currently is lots of cleavage.
And that’s ok with me; I like to watch the video on mute.

The Met: It's ok. If you like that sort of thing.

The first thing I noticed was how eerily calm everything was before the show. Because everything is taken care of. The only problem to solve was that the horse couldn’t get by the cases that the Ballet had brought into one of the hallways. Other than that, it was just checking props and waiting for the curtain.

The Met does things differently then the rest of the world (of course they do, they’re the Met). They have four stage manager posts per night and I spent basically an act with each one. It's strange cause none of them wear head sets (well, 1 does to call cues).

I always knew intermissions at the Met were long. But I thought they just felt like a long 20 minutes. Turns out they’re all 25-35 minutes long. And for good reasons. During the first intermission this crew of about 40 or 50 guys had to tear apart one third of the set and replace it with another one waiting behind it. Then they had to refocus all the lights and run any fight calls. The head SM didn’t have anything to do so he showed me the basement set storage area and the lifts under the stage.

Best part of the evening: apparently Renee Fleming doesn’t come to the stage when called. You have to go get her out of her dressing room. The ASM said she’s very nice and always comes right away, but you have to personally go get her. So, ACT I, Renee’s entrance, the ASM and I wander back to the dressing room to escort her to the stage. Later I got to ride in the elevator with Renee and the Mezzo (Stefanie Blythe, who was amazing) from below the stage up to stage level. I also showed them my penis. They seemed impressed, but may have just been being polite.

I got to talk with the tenor (Kobie von Rensburg) and the counter tenor (Andreas Scholl) while they were waiting in the wings. That’s the best thing about opera (compared to theater), you get to talk the whole time you're back stage. I actually saw very little of the show, even though I was only about 10 feet from the stage (and yes, the thought of streaking definitely entered my mind).

At the end of the night, when the principals were taking their bows I was hanging out on stage. I was thinking if I lined up at the right spot they would send me out for my bow.

All 4 stage managers talked to me about how they got started and gave me what advice they could. They gave me resume pointers and invited me back anytime next season (this season ended Saturday). Too bad they don’t have an internship. They said since the Met is different from every other house it’s a good place to take your experience, but not a good place to gain it. Still, I plan on hanging out back there next season as often as they’ll let me.

The 50th Blog!

Lincoln Center allows all sorts of performing ensembles to perform in their plaza, from college orchestras to high school bands to elementary school choirs. I always like to go listen. I feel it’s the least I can do to support the arts by becoming one more audience member during my lunch breaks. Yesterday I felt especially compelled. It was one of those public schools that’s just a number (like PS 267). And I had to stay and watch because there were no parents there whatsoever. I could tell, because the choir was composed (haha, composed) of only black children but everyone in Lincoln Center Plaza (as usual) was white or asian.

The thing is, they were terrible. Sang/yelled right out of their throats. And this, this is actually a topic I feel entitled to speak about. Unlike the time I tried to blog about the speed of the international space station and was (as usual) talking out of my ass. But back to my point, which is no children should ever use their throat to sing. Children have natural head voices you dumb fuck of a teacher! 1) You’re promoting wretched singing technique to children who are already immersed in pop singing and 2) you’re taking away the only desirable quality about children’s voices, the fact that without work they’re light and floaty. What are you teaching them and how did you ever get qualified to do so (probably an instrumentalist forced into it, he was using a baton after all).

Ok, I’m over it.

Anyway…I was out there a few weeks ago with really, the worst elementary school choir I had ever heard. I was kind of ashamed until I heard the teacher say “thanks y’all (she was from Texas) for comin’ out todai. These children are part of volunteer choir that meets wonce a week after sckewl.” And then I felt bad. Good for them.

Going out and watching these "performances" only gives me confidence that I made the right choice in not becoming a teacher. Not to say I wouldn't be good at it, but I'm pretty sure I would hate life.


A.E. - My whole neighborhood is full of newborns and golden retrievers.
Me - Just the two things you should not have in New York City.


Next week: my Met debut.

Gotta respect the rejection letter

I got my first rejection letter from the 30 resumes I sent out. Palm Beach Opera…has filled all of their positions. Alas, it really was near the top of the list. Still I have utmost respect for any company willing to reply and let me know they weren’t interested. I send off so many resumes and I never expect to hear back, but I think it says a lot about the person who takes the time to inform me there aren’t any spots open.

So Kudos also to Seattle Opera.

And it looks like we should be having a changing of the guard for the top spot in the much coveted blog points (not that that’s difficult since 4 of the top 5 having made any progress for months).
Tim Hsu, I’m vewy disappointed.

And hey, look at Nattiebo makin’ the board!

Peabody?

Let me check my schedule...uh, yeah, I'm free.

I’m going to the Met Friday with the best tickets I’ve ever had. I’ll be sitting…back stage!
That’s right, Friday’s performance of Rodelinda (yes, the one with Renee Flemming) will have yours truly hanging out in the wings.

Here’s how it happened:
On my coworker, A.E.’s, suggestion I emailed the two ASMs at the Met. To sum the email up in a sentence:

"My name is Mike, I’m an aspiring opera stage manager but I’m not sure I really know what I’m doing, do you have an hour you could spare to give help with some professional advice?"

And the message she left me in response:

"Hey Mike, why don’t you come hang out with us Friday for the opera and see how things are really done."

The thing is, even if I don’t learn anything, even if I don’t make any contacts (and yes, I will have a large stack of resumes and business cards handy) it’s still a once in a lifetime opportunity. I mean, as a singer and a stage manager this is the place of dreams.

I always wished they’d leave the curtain up at intermissions so we could watch what happens. Now I’ll know.

What will Erin actually do for blog points?

The fedora boy: you lost another point
The fedora boy: I'm not sure why
The fedora boy: still, you're far from your all time low of -11
RavenEMEF: :-(
RavenEMEF: give me more points
The fedora boy: more negative points?
RavenEMEF: if i sleep with you will you give me like a ton o'positive points?
The fedora boy: I'm going to post that and hope Mike reads it
RavenEMEF: hahaha

For the record, sleeping with me does get you "like a ton o'postitive points"

Why's it still so fucking cold!

Shannon isn’t the only one calling 911 lately. Sunday afternoon at 66th St. I see an old man lying in the road if front of a car. I didn’t see him get hit, but it must have just happened since no one else was around yet. I immediately called 911. I like to think a dozen other people did also but I wasn’t around, I went looking for a cop within the block. I must say I’m impressed by the response time of the NYPD. Cops were there in 2 minutes and an ambulance in about 3 (it is the upper west side after all). Anyway, I like to think the old man was fine, it was a light hit and he was down so long because he was old. But I didn’t actually see him get up or even move so…who knows.

In other news, I just sent off about 30 resumes and coverletters to opera companies for next season (including Sarasota, thanks Eliza). I don’t know what to expect, but this is how I got my summer gigs and what the hell, it can’t hurt for a bunch of production managers to see my name. It did end up costing about $50 after envelopes, resume paper and postage. That’s life.

I sent off disproportionately to Florida. Deep down I know I’m still angry I moved to still-fucking-cold-in-mid-May New York and not to a nice beach near Tampa.
Although I’m so glad I decided not to be a teacher.

Sophisticated conversations with Ryan Stadler

Nothing exciting to post today but here are some snippets from a candid AIM conversation between Ryan Stadler and myself. I guess he gets a few points out of this.

Ryan: You excited about the big night tonight?
Me: Ah, the series finale of 7th heaven
Me: You bet I am
Ryan: Well not just that
Ryan: David Blaine may drown in front of everyone on TV
Me: I hope it happens during a 7th heaven commercial

Me: Are you gonna come see david blaine?
Ryan: Nope
Ryan: I’ll probably watch on tv though
Ryan: It might be interesting to see someone drown
Me: That would be cool
Me: Maybe if he was just weverly brain damaged
Me: Like that terri girl
Ryan: I hear weverly is worse than severly
Me: oh
Me: Well, I don't wish that on him then

Me: Slow day today
Me: 3 hours
Me: 21 calls
Ryan: wow
Ryan: That's about 1 every 10 minutes
Me: umm
Me: 9 minutes
Ryan: Let's not split hairs
Me: Don't start degrading my abilities
Ryan: Which ability is that? Calculating how little you do over a long period of time?
Me: Which I'm getting rather good at

Me: That's a job you need
Me: Porn...critic

Me: When's your brother gonna get me a job
Ryan: Never...he hates you
Me: oh
Me: Is it because I'm a wasp
Ryan: No it's because you're an ass

Me: I'm not discriminate about the ass I get
Ryan: Darryl told me so
Me: I didn't know you too still keep in touch
Ryan: We don't....he took an ad out in the times about it

Summer Plans Upended

Let’s review. Last time I posted about the summer I would be spending three long months as a crew member in Santa Fe. Well…….plans change. Here’s the summer update.

May 26 – June 6: ASM School of American Ballet's spring performance (in NY)

June 6 – June 15: Work, pack, and hang out (in NY)

June 15: Quit my job, sublet my place, move to Baltimore

June 18 – June 25: Hilton Head!!!

June 25 – July 17: Live in Baltimore, ASM Young Vic’s The Sorcerer

July 18 – August 29: SM Opera North’s Albert Herring in New Hampshire

Sept. 1: Move back to New York, unemployed

Now this summer is a huge step for me because I am making enough money to live off as a free lance stage manager for the first time. That’s huge!! To think I’m actually achieving what I set out to achieve! I’m not really sure what I’m going to do in September or how I continue this trend, but for the next three months; I am set.

Really though, the most important thing is the trip to Hilton Head.

Gloating

"Thanks so much for sending your materials; you certainly have a tremendous amount of experience and expertise!"
- James Harp (Artistic Administrator/Chorus Master, Baltimore Opera) on my stage management resume

Ha! Slightly better than his opinion of my freshman audition to Baltimore Opera Chorus

Oh and here’s a winning AIM conversation between Erin (RavenEMEF) and myself (The fedora boy):

The fedora boy: I told him I have a professional gig till June 25
RavenEMEF: That’s good, make you seem important
The fedora boy: I’ll be working with the, um, opera company of Hilton Head Island
The fedora boy: Performing the opera, uh, Drunk on the Beach
The fedora boy: With my favorite aria “Where am I going to stick my drunken Penis tonight?!”
RavenEMEF: HAHAHAHAHA

David Hack'Blaine

David Blaine is swimming around in a fish take outside. I mean it. He’s spending 7 or so days in a small bubble filled with water outside of Lincoln Center.
I’m not impressed and here’s why: everything is accounted for. There’s no chance anything can go wrong. So there’s no risk…he’s just sitting there…hour after hour…swimming around. He has an air tube of course and a diver’s mask. Although I don’t know too many details he is eating something. It’s still pretty cold so I’m sure the temperature is regulated. He has assistants and supervisors always present (the bubble is only about 10 feet in circumference, it’s not like they couldn’t get him out if something happened and just in case something did happen, there’s an ambulance and medical staff here round the clock). I’m not sure about bodily functions, but I’m sure that’s figured out as well.
My favorite thing is the website www.davidblaine.com which shows an animation of him chained inside the bubble with out the diver's mask and the quote "DROWNED ALIVE! Failure means a drowing death!" when, as I've stated above, it looks like a pretty easy life with absolutley no chance of death, whatsoever.

I’m bored just typing about it. Still, there’s always a line to walk past and wave at him.

The only cool part to me is that it’s here at Lincoln Center. And I wonder, who gets money? Did David Blaine pay Lincoln Center to do this? It’s got to run them a tab, with slightly more security and much larger volume of foot-traffic. But it’s great publicity. All these ignorant people who find this fascinating, many of them possibly stepping on the grounds of, let’s admit, one of the greatest artistic facilities in the world, for the first time. Many of them I’m sure have never been to an opera, but with good marketing, maybe could be suckered in. I guess Lincoln Center is a safer place: upper west side, above street level, but I’m sure there were many other places he could have done this just in New York. So did Lincoln Center have to pay him to come here? I’m really curious about the money handling. I’m not really curious about David Blaine.

If only it were Andrea Bocelli trapped in a bubble. Singing round the clock. Under Water.
Or imagine if David Blaine was blind...